


Denial

by metalmeisje



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: M/M, Xephos - Freeform, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 23:19:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1620569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metalmeisje/pseuds/metalmeisje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He denies feeling at home with someone else because the stars in their eyes made him think of the night sky he once traversed. (Note to the Yogscast: Do not read any of my fics on stream.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something-something that has been running around in my head for a while now. Sigh.

He doesn’t know when it happened exactly, when this simple game of make-belief they had grown used to sharing, hidden from the rest of the world, had started bleeding into their real lives drop by agonizing drop. And denying everything seemed easier than admitting even the smallest detail, so he made denial into an art form.

He denies feeling at home with someone else because the stars in their eyes make him think of the night sky he once traversed.

He denies stolen moments in dark corners when they knew no one was watching, because he wasn't willing to be a thief of anything, even if whatever he took was given willingly.

He says no to hands on his sides, fingers grasping his hair, an arched back and whispers in the dark. He says no to shared breaths because any other word than _no_ would mean an acknowledgement - and real things crumble under your feet and leave you broken and empty. He had seen enough of that to last him a lifetime.

He says no to holding hands in public and secret smiles, to entangled limbs and dirty sheets and even to flowers, once. Because accepting a gift would mean making whatever he is denying real, and he doesn’t think he will ever be ready for that.

He denies the smile that gives him hope and the devastating love that might just burst out of his chest if he would let it, because he knows he does not deserve any of it.

He denies it all, because he would rather be a liar and a cheat than to risk that jump and end up falling alone.


End file.
